Stop Bullying

This message is for everyone in the world. It completely saddens me that we in this world have done nothing to spare our young from bullying.

 

Want to know some things about bullying , depression, suicide? It impacts so many not just one or two.

 

Yesterday I received a call from a worried mom who’s daughter was being bullied at school.

 

To Jon’s friends, you are not honoring Jon or defending his honor by bullying others you think wronged him. The way you honor all those in this world that have passed away from bullying , depression and suicide is by stopping bullying and hatred when you see it. Become a bully and stating it’s you paying it forward is not the way. Also you need to have your facts straight.

 

For kids who are giving up you want to know what that day is like for your parents family and friends….

 

For me it started with a phone call. I didn’t believe the call, not my Jon. I hung up and called my house it was a police officer asking where I was they were sending an officer for me Jon had shot himself. I hung up , started speeding 100 mph down the road screaming to God just let him live, give him to me in any form just don’t let him die. Looking up in the sky for life flight and seeing nothing. My heart sinking more and more as I got closer. Taking the corner into my driveway seeing it lined with cars, emergency personnel, police officers an ambulance pulled up to the front. Out of the corner of my eye seeing my sister on the embankment crying uncontrollably. In my heart of hearts knowing he was gone before I ever stepped out of the vehicle.

 

My father, Jon’s grandfather saying the words no grandfather should ever have to utter. “He didn’t make it, Wendy. He didn’t make it” to me screaming out and collapsing on the ground.

 

Throwing up by a tree and feeling like I couldn’t breathe. Trying to get to my son and an officer saying I couldn’t and it’s not how I want to remember him. All the sudden lots of people circling around but I couldn’t hear any of them it was like I was outside my body just watching a movie.

 

5 hours sitting in a cold driveway not really knowing what was going on. A police officer coming over asking what funeral home I wanted him taken to. How would I know the answer to this? A parent doesn’t plan to bury a child. I couldn’t answer.

 

To a woman coming over giving her condolences saying she hoped someday it would bring me comfort to know he died instantly and he didn’t suffer. Why would that bring me comfort? This isn’t suppose to happen.

 

To me inside screaming everyone shut the fuck up me give me Jon back. To a police officer stepping over to say he wanted me to turn around as a hearse was coming to get my child. They didn’t want me to see them move his lifeless body from the ambulance to the hearse. I screamed at the officer. To being told I couldn’t go in my house til it was cleaned up.

 

All this was happening. Yes, my son was gone but I didn’t believe it. It was like watching a movie… not my family.

 

To kids learning of the tragedy in social media along with parents and shock and disbelief sweeping the community. To the organ donation place calling right before midnight asking me to donate some of Jon. What are all these people talking about?

 

To watching Jon’s siblings , dad , grandparents aunts and uncles and cousins sob uncontrollably. How could this be my world? Where is my Jon? To going to a funeral home to try to make arrangements and having no idea how we got there. To seeing my son before cremation looking so peaceful like he was sleeping and thinking he will wake up. To then seeing his remains in a jar and thinking that’s not him.

 

To spending two days with friends and family and strangers saying goodbye to Jon. People talking and hugging me and me having no idea what they were saying.

 

Say goodbye to my son? I am not saying goodbye. He will come back. Jon playing a trick on me.

 

To days and weeks going by and the cruel reality sinks in. My son is really gone. No more hugs kisses and laughs from him. In one second he was gone. So to all of you who consider taking that route know how much pain is left behind.

 

To those bullies out there who thinks it’s not a big deal if someone takes their lives or you belittle them.

 

What life is like now. I wake up every day crying looking for my Jon. I cry every night missing my Jon. His family misses him terribly. Holidays suck, hell, everything sucks.

 

Jon will never get to celebrate his sixteenth birthday or any other birthday. Jon will never graduate, never get to go in the Marines as he planned. He will never marry have children of his own. Jon will never see another sunrise or sunset a snowflake in the air. We will never get to celebrate all those things with him. Now I only have a cold tombstone to go hug when missing my Jon.

 

We live in a world of wonder and grief. Some days I can’t move.

 

Jon was no different then anyone else’s child. Jon could be someone you know. You reading this could be me now or someday.

 

We as a community and as a world need to stand up to bullying. We need to help those that are depressed find a reason to move forward.

 

Do not use my son Jon Morrell name for anything other than love, light and laughter. He would not want his name used to target others and bully them.

 

We all have a purpose even though we don’t know what that is. However I am more than sure it is not to rip others apart.

 

Read my words and put yourself in my place. Is that a life you want to live or be a reason for someone else living that life. I wish this road for no one. I didn’t ask to be a parent that had to stand against this. I hate being a parent on this road but I need to help other parents and kids not be a part of this storyline.

 

Be kind to one another. Your are all great. You all have the ability to do great things. What if you were a part of bringing peace. What a legacy.

 

If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all it’s not hard. You get nothing from tearing others down. However you could gain some of the greatest friends by lifting others up.

 

Sit with that kid who sits alone at lunch. Pick that kid no one else wants on their team. Help the kid getting shoved in the hallway. Stick up for the girl being called a slut. Help the kid up that got pushed down. Be the difference.

 

Jon, I love you and miss you terribly. I will do for you now what I couldn’t do in your short time here and honor your name and life. I will ensure that your life is never forgotten and others learn from you. You were so strong sweet boy. I am not mad at you. I’m proud of you and always was.

 

Love you baby boy. Forever your mom.

 

Always stay humble and kind.