3 Months

Today marks 3 months since your beautiful soul left us Jon Morrell.

 

A smile and a light that I thought could never be dimmed.

 

To say life sucks would be an understatement.

 

Life wasn’t perfect before and I’m not going to pretend it was but it sure was a lot better with you in it. The only way to get through even a minute of this is to pretend your still here, that only lasts for a little while and then it slaps me in the face and I break down. To be your mom was an honor. I know we had our differences and sometimes you thought I was too hard on you but I thought I was doing the right thing.

 

You are my baby boy , the youngest of my four. You will always be my baby boy, you will forever be in my heart and always on my mind kiddo.

 

I would do anything to have that day back and change those series of events. To hold you again and never let you go.

 

To now know that night before when you gave me a hug and told me you loved me was the last time I would see you in person just breaks my heart.

 

Why dammit? Why did you not call me? Why didn’t you tell me so I could help?

 

I would have given up my life for yours.

 

I didn’t know buddy, I didn’t know you were hurting so much.

 

How did I miss it? How did I not see?

 

I love you to heaven and back.

 

I miss you so much it physically hurts.

 

Someday I hope the mention of your name or looking at your picture makes me smile and not break down and cry. For now however it makes me cry,

 

I long to hear your voice, hear you laugh, see your smile.

 

My heart is forever broken never to be whole again until we meet again.

 

I love you my baby boy. Fly high, watch over us all until we meet again. I love you forever and always. Your forever mom.

15 hearts for 15 short years you were with us